Words! who knew

My job. Let me start by saying I know there are people who are out of work, homeless or poor. I appreciate my job, my paycheck and my benefits. But if your lover buys you dinner, it doesn't give them the right to belittle you.

In this day and age, I believe it's common place, to treat your employees like property or cattle. Instead of respecting them as individuals with ideas, opinions and for whatever it is they truly can bring to the table.

I am on a journey to discover exactly what my purpose is. I can make a purpose. I can purpose myself to be the best damn fry cook Ronald McDonald has ever seen. That is what most of us do, we fear that inner voice whispering what really is in our heart to show the world so we create a purpose easy to obtain. No questions asked.

In these trying times, you are just happy to get a paycheck. The sad thing is this very attitude sets into play the killing or silencing of your inner voice.

I'm one semester away from my Associate Degree. It has taken me 17 years to get here and it's the most exciting, freeing, uplifting, frightening, nerve racking moment in time. The thrill is short lived, because my inner voice says it's not enough. It took me 17 years to stop muzzling that voice and it will not shut up!

Today at work I was reminded how important it is for me to not allow myself to get side tracked ever again.

I was told that "I wasn't part of a team".

I know that sounds silly to get upset about, but you must know that my job does not come with many perks. My paycheck is not a perk, I work for it. I work with a group of people that I have just fell in love with. There was talk about splitting us up and I questioned it. That's when I got the response that I allowed to put me in a mood that I have not had in a long time at work.

If I'm not on a team, working towards a goal, what am I doing? Why do I show up 5 days a week?

When the statement was made, it was not to imply that we don't work like a team. This person did not want me to get the impression that I belong to a special group. The thought behind the comment is, "you come to work and you produce and that's all you do".

Of course to be honest I know he meant the individuals I have been working with shoulder to shoulder for almost 2 months now are not my team. I should be available to work with what ever group of people they deemed fit for any day they choose.

Words are so powerful.

I love the big picture. The big picture of that statement spoke to me.

We don't want you in small groups, because within those groups someone will lead. Within those groups voices are more powerful because they can easily be pinpointed. In large groups there is chaos, and people falling through the cracks of the politricks of the job, but the work will get done.

Remember being picked last for a team.? How that felt. Or not being picked at all and sitting on the side observing. What emotion is evoked when there is no team. Hopelessness. Loneliness. Uselessness.

See in the grand scheme of my journey, I am well aware that for the most part my workplace could care less about my hopes, dreams, and abilities. But this job is currently paying the bills and allowing me to continue to move forward in finding my mission in life (career).

I am one of those foolish people that just have to make a difference. Everything has to have meaning. I make my own self sick sometimes. But that's me. Part of my journey is finding my team. I believe there are a group of people out there who are waiting for me to come on board.

It just floored me, when in one statement I realized the place I have put almost 3 years of myself in wasn't it.