I Don't Know

I am 35 and still learning. When I was a child, I had experiences that would be labeled abuse. We will keep it at that for now. My only recourse was trying to find ways to fit in and be rewarded (loved).

Life experiences cause us to develop habits that are good and bad.One of the bad habits I developed as a child and brought into adulthood;
Wanting to be loved and accepted by everyone I came into contact with. That is a horrible habit.

It will cause you to second guess yourself constantly.It will cause you to go against your own judgment, morals, principles, and so on.It will cause you to make a fool of yourself for the sake of a kind word or a little attention.It will cause you to force things that don't fit.It will cause you to be your own worst enemy.

At 35, I have come a long way. At least I know what the issue is and where it stems from. I am dealing with it and overcoming it every day, it is only making me a better person. I can't please everyone, and everyone can't please me.

I have to be true to myself, in order to be true to you.I bow out of the rat race.I am 35 and I'm still learning.

Heaven

Imagine meeting me for the first time, without seeing me. All you hear is my voice.All you feel is genuine.There is nothing to taint your view of me.I have an opportunity to be who I am without you trying to match my physical with my material.You cannot dismiss me for what I don't have because all there is is voice. Beautiful melodies of conversations between you and me.